Back in the land of corn

I have settled into the life of small midwest living. I work my rather unsatisfying job and come home at night to go to bed and do it all over again. I am currently working an office position in an agency which serves people with disabilities. It is an agency and an industry that I respect and am passionate about. When I initially decided to come back home and get a job in this agency while I go through the ordination process I thought I needed time "off". Just some time to spend with my family and work a job to pay off those pesky bills. It has been about 4 1/2 months and becoming clear that I am slowly going numb from boredom.... I am a small town again. The "city" that I work in-which is large by Iowa standards-doesn't even have an Indian restaraunt. (oh lord what I wouldn't do for some curried chicken and garlic naan!!)

But I am near my family and my bills are getting smaller. That is what I wanted right?

Now I am not so sure. But I feel stuck. I told my employer I would be here for roughly 2 year while I got ordained. At the time it seemed like a reasonable amount of time.

Its been 4 1/2 months and I am bored out of my mind. I am tired of sorting through paperwork and emailing people when they haven't completed something correctly. I am tired of going to work and doing data entry.

I recently did an LGBTQIQ training for our all staff. (150 people were there, 400 will watch the video total). It was fantastic, nerve racking, and fun. After a woman came to my office and literally said "You are so knowledgeable and passionate-what are you doing HERE, putting things into a computer for all of us? You can't keep all that behind a desk"

But I am behind a desk. My boss (actually my boss's boss) pulled for me because she wanted me at this agency. She put her neck out on the line. She is someone I have an ENORMOUS amount of respect for. Can I really go searching for another job and leave?

What kind of person am I if my word can't be trusted?

Too Good Not To Share: Republican Survivor

Wonderful video

This is a song from a friend of mine whom I met at seminary.

Iowa Same Sex Marriage Ad

Here is an ad playing in Iowa brought to us by One Iowa.

White people problems

Found this over at Womanist Musings. I agree with her, though it doesn't atriculate (or perhaps understand) how race intersects with many other oppressions (class perhaps, just to name one) it is funny and true.

Funny Videos | Funny Cartoons | More Video Clips

I love you and Buddha too!

Oh Jesus, I love you
And I love Buddha too
Ramakrishna, Guru Dev
Tao Te Ching and Mohammed
Why do some people say
There there is just one way
To love you God and come to you
We are all a part of you
You are un-nameable
You are unknowable
All we have is metaphor
That's what time and space are for
Is the universe your thought
You are and you are not
You are many, You are one
Ever ending, just begun
Alright, alright, alright
I love you and Buddha too
(Bonus outro)

When prophets say they've heard
The one and only word
And every word is different
God becomes an argument
And we are left to choose
A side or to refuse
The whole thing in its humanness
Learn from each with tolerance

Southwest Rap-attendant

My current mantra

I came across this song on my iPod. It was part of a mixed CD a good friend made for me several years ago. I am obsessed. \\

i am exactly where i need to be
i need to be exactly where i am
i am a blessing manifest
i can undress the moment
naked time unwinds beneath my mind
and from within i find the kind of beauty
only i can find
i am exactly where i need to be
i need to be exactly where i am
i am surrendering so willingly
to be the perfect me inside this now
and truly how else could it be
destiny she blesses me
destiny she blesses me
when i try to fight or run
i only wind up back at square one
when i think i know what’s best for me
fate she takes me back
to exactly where i need to be
i am exactly where i need to be
i need to be exactly where i am
i am divinely timed and shining brightly
yes i believe that there’s a purpose just for me
yes i believe that we are light
and we shine infinitely
i am exactly where i need to be
i need to be exactly where i am
i am not aimlessly existing see
i am in perfect harmony with universal energy
and i am truly free when i accept my own divinity
look at me look at me closely
tell me exactly what you see
if you are paying attention you will now begin ascension of the mind
why, because if you look at me just right you will see a kiss
for it took a kiss to make this breath exist
the intersection of my mother’s and father’s lips
to touch twist and perfect what came next to produce me
look at me and you will see the breeze
the breeze it took to shake the leaves to make
my mother’s hair move, my father dare touch it and say
please may i have a kiss
yes the breeze made me exist
and if you want to get even deeper into this
when you look at me you will see a cloud
the cloud it took to form the storm to make the breeze shake the leaves to
inspire the liplock – yes a raindrop will pop up out these words
you heard me right
if you look at me close enough you will see a dark stormy night
and what is night
well night ain’t night without it’s polar opposite of sunlight
so if you watch the way my hands sway
you’ll see the light of day
and everyday is a testament to the sediment of the earth’s core
it’s ever spinning enormous force so if you look at me just right
you will see a spark of the source
but the most fascinating thing about this, and it’s true
is that if you look at me just right, you see you
it’s only what you perceive how you believe the space between
you and me
that creates reality
so when i sing you can feel it
when i cry you can heal it
when i speak words you can be the words i speak by singing with me
peace love free, peace love free
peace love free, peace love free
peace love free, peace love free
peace love free, peace love free
when i try to fight or run
i only wind up back at square one
when i think i know what’s best for me
fate she takes me back
to exactly where i need to be
and when i am alone and full of fear
i just remember the rising sun always appears
everyday miracles, miracles that i see
well they take me back
they take me back
they take me back
to exactly where i need to be